Top Five Reasons to do a Top Five List

I have decided to compose a popular thing we see in blogs and articles. The amazing top five list. I will make every attempt to do a weekly top 5 list. Next week, I will do the top 5 excuses to not be writing. But today, I wanted to try something a little meta. So, I give you:

THE TOP 5 REASONS TO DO A TOP 5 LIST

5. They're easy - There's not a whole lot of actual writing that needs to be done. You are not constrained by complicated story structure or formulas or even journalistic integrity. Also, no research needed. You just give out your opinion on a subject you should know a little something about. I mean, if you want to do top five best lacrosse players, but did not even know the sport used sticks, then you got some time to spend on Wikipedia. Not me.

4. They create emotional response from readers - Opinions are like assholes. Well, you know how that goes. And when you give out your opinion, well you are going to get those to agree. You'll get a comment or two. If you say something that someone disagrees with, well, expect a crapload of comments and a few possible death threats. But either way, you got a response, and that's the best feeling after writing something. I can't wait for all the posts I'll get telling me how this one should've been ranked a lot higher or how "it makes you feel powerful" wasn't even up there.

3. They're fun to do - They can be fun and easy read. They also are a lot of fun to write. One of the great joys in life is judging things and then ranking them. If you don't think so, well then I think you are a jerk and therefore put you on my list of ten biggest jerks. Whoa, that was fun. You should try it, jerk.

2. Everybody's doing it - USA Today, websites, even VH-1 "documentaries" all have top lists. I know, if everyone was jumping off a bridge, would you do it. Most likely. Especially if it's fun, easy, and can be made into a top five list.

1. The world needs things to be listed in order using ordinal numbers. - Yes, that's it. We need order in the world. I know it sounds like a cop out. And pretty much it is. The number 1's on a lot of lists tend to be complete cop outs or way too obvious. That's why the number 2's through 5's are more interesting to read. And that doesn't seem fair. But the world isn't fair, and therefore needs ordered lists to balance that out. It's also number one of my top five things I am kind of surprised I wrote.

Tune in next week for another top 5 list.